Four of Them



Considering the fact that Captain America was born in the thirties and isn’t “revived” until 2012, don’t you think he’d be a bit more blown away by technology?

Granted, he was given his crazy strength by some crazy technology, but still it’s nothing compared to an iPhone.

So you know what I want to see?

I want to see Steve practically pissing himself with shock the first time he sees someone using an iPod. Or fainting in pure surprise as someone uses a fucking laptop.

That’s what I want.

Fuck everything else.

That’s all I’ll need to have an enjoyable movie experience.

If the movie doesn’t have that, I will be seriously disappointed.

One of the biggest differences between movieverse deep freeze and current main continuity is that Steve doesn’t have almost any of the friends that existed in his time—-the people who, in part, helped him acclimate to the world. His pre-Avengers friends are a seventy-five year old robot that (with help from his kid circus boy sidekick) burned Hitler alive, an eighty-seven-year old ex-dead ex-mindwashed ex-Commie ex-sidekick one-armed super assassin (also, his robot arm does math!), 90-odd year old British speedster who is dating Blade the Vampire Hunter, an eighty-eight year old ex-dead ex-sidekick ex-circus sideshow who, after being orphaned by accidentally immolating his parents, was adopted by the robot and renamed the Flaming Kid, a half-fish-half-dick aquatic prince with delightful wings on his ankles, and this guy. They cut 2/3 of the Howling Commandos and all of the Invaders out of the Captain America movie, so he doesn’t have ANY of these nutty folks with him when he wakes up.

No matter how you push around the scaling timeline, Steve has been unfrozen for at LEAST ten years in 616, so we don’t have as much relavent examples of Steve vs. today’s technology. I would HIGHLY suggest checking out the Captain America: Man Out of Time mini, since it does deal with that in part. In Earth-1610 (Ultimates), they had Bucky still around (with cancer, and married to Steve’s ex-girlfriend; someone had to “protect” her after cosplay sex gone wrong got Gail pregnant with the Ult!Red Skull*), and made Steve a much more rigid and bigoted character. He just kind of went THE FUTURE IS DUMB AND TECHNOLOGY IS FOR CHUMPS AND YOU ARE ALL SISSIES. HAWKEYE, GET THAT EARRING OUT OF YOUR EAR, YOU GREAT BIG PANSY*. Thankfully, Movieverse!Steve is a big ball of adorable, so I really hope that they go with a more ridiculous/startled puppy!reaction to the future.

(Take the free wifis that the nice waitress offered you. It’s only polite, Tony.)

* Ultimates canon. I have such a complicated relationship with Earth-1610.